This day...

I couldn’t sleep because of this very date… is one I’ll never forget. Had anyone stood close enough to me, You would see that I was never myself again after what happen.

Four years have passed on this very date, I not only break away from people that I care for but also the most sinful things I did was the reason why I’m never the same anymore.
Had there been some better choices, and circumstances or even a chance… I might have probably not do what I already done. I remember me breaking my only family heart. The cruelest things I’ve said that I cannot take back still so freshly played in my mind like a movie player.

I left home, but never had the guts to even face them after what I did. I couldn’t even say “sorry” for breaking their hearts and wounded their pride… but if I had and ocean wide of courage I wouldn’t just say “I’m sorry” but I would have said “thanks for giving me a family when no one wanted me”.

This day when I left home.
I never regret leaving it, because letting them go means setting them free…those reasons were all I had then. I couldn’t stand watching them live such painful life just because of me, who am I to them? I’m just an adopted child. Even though they never differentiate me and their fresh and blood, I can’t stand there and watch them get hurt by that women my dad call “MOTHER”. Had you all been there and see what I’ve seen in my dad eyes. The way he tenderly looked at that “women” who don’t give a damn about his existence, he himself still awaits the day that women would call him “son”. Knowing it all how could I said “No” and hold on to them.

Being adopted to a family who loved me but could never show me those emotion. I know my parents had a few regrets in their heart for all the thing I had to go through as I grew up. Those times I had been beaten up half of my life and cried my way to sleep every night, I know those memories was the most painful they had for me. I do know so well that they always try to make this painful moments go away and how sometimes when it hurts the most, they would stay close and cried as I had in my sleep. These are some things my own fresh and blood relation mother could never accomplish.

Since the day I met this women last year… With that hatred look that she had for me felt like being stab by her. The disgusting look she had for me was like a looking back at a sinful past she tried to leave and ran away from all this years…Can anyone guess why she had to see me?
Trust me! It was not to find me or because she misses me…but because she needed something from me. Something that only I had and she needs it!