Love is just hard

Don’t you think love is hard?

I wish it was as easy as breathing, but no...

It’s harder when you love someone more.

I wanted him to love me more then I did.

But as time goes by...

I was indulging in a fantasy alone...

Love is so cruel...

He was the best thing that I had.

Yet the deepest scar was awarded to me by him...

Someone I loved more than my own life.

You can’t imagine how badly I was wounded...

I couldn’t cry for days...

I just took the pain and numb it till my spine can’t feel anymore.

I don’t know which is worst...

Watching him go to someone else, or

Him telling me he didn’t love me anymore!

Love is just the cruellest.

I wanted to hate him so much,

Then I just can’t bring myself to.

I watched him kill me slowly as he left me by myself that day.

And as days went by...

This tormenting pain literally split my soul apart.

I wished I had just died.

Still the same Sun but not before

The brightest sun...

The gleaming ray that lights the world.

Wonder what life is like when all fades,

And darkness swallowed everything.

Her smile is like that untouchable sun.

All of her lights the world...

Every touch will eventually shine.

That is how special she was... before she met me.

I took that smile and poison it with sorrows.

Left the sun where darkness stole its light.

Broke it’s miracle touch with curses,

And ruin her life with never ending pain.

I shaken her heart and tore it apart,

And love kills her slowly inside out.

Weary her of all her strength.

Slowly guilt steps in and numbed her worst.

Nor she is not the same anymore,

Not the sun that I once knew.

Secret Love Ep 14

I shouldn’t love him. But I did.

Even as I knew it was wrong.

I wanted him at a cause of having myself drowned in hell.

I know someday God shall punish me.

For loving someone I shouldn’t.

But don’t I deserve to love him, just as he did.

I was the reason why he got so hurt.

Yet I couldn’t push him away because I owed him too much.

Can God and Her forgive me just this once?

Give me the strength to grab his hand bravely.

Lean upon him for comfort and hold him when he’s vulnerable?

I know someday hell will invite me and punished me badly.

But just this once...

Make me brave enough to love him despite our pain and hurt.

                               

                                                                                ~Yoo Jeong’s Love

Secret Love ep 16...

Look at what you did to me,

I lost my child,

While you lost the opportunity.

Look at the mess you caused.

And picture what you lost before your eyes.

You could have that chance to seek happiness.

If only you realised it at first.

Just look...

You can’t undo it.

It’s all gone, ruined before your very eyes.

Even as you stood there crying and apologised.

You took my child...

And life took all your happiness.

What we lost can’t be replaced.

So try living like this.

“A mother had to sacrifice her loved for her child.

To realised being a mother doesn’t mean,

She needs to have him to hold for the rest of her life.

If he’s happy then it’s enough to know.”

                                               

                                                                                ~ Yoo Jeong

Secret Love Part 1

Have you ever meet someone,

Who just brings out the best in you.

Even when you have little to be proud of,

They still look at you like you were their everything.

I did... meet someone like that.

Someone who loved me unconditionally.

Even as I inflicted the worst unimaginable pain.

She still loved me for what i did.

It wasn’t easy to love her,

My love started with a regretful intention.

Revenge...

I punished her badly for a crime she never did.

When I took away almost everything she had,

And even when she was betrayed by love.

I was there watching her grit her teeth and live.

Cried till her tears run dry,

Fall and still stood up again and again.

She had loved me in her silence.

Her heart was so in pain when she loved me.

Forgiving comes easy to her.

And now i wonder why someone she loved,

Left her here half broken hearted...

Min Hyeok's heart..                                                   

Can love and time really heal everything?

Can love and time really heal everything?

I wished it could.

Even when it can’t erase everything,

I hope it would at least heal parts of it...

Especially the painful and breaking corners of the heart.

I really wished time could reassure me that I...

Would eventually come to my senses and stand up again.

Whether the love is painful or unrequited,

Love is still love no matter what form it takes.

I want you to understand that...

We all had different ways of loving someone.

I get that by now.

Even as I rewrite this tale then relived it again.

I still wish that love was you.

Even when I insanely knew how it’ll end.

I still wanted you to be the only one for me.

As much as loving you is tough,

I wished you had given yourself the chance to seek true love.

Of course true love takes a miracle to have,

But once it comes your way,

I prayed that...

You would have the courage to gasp it, bravely.

The second... First love

Remember how my first love ended.

How I regretted it... by not being honest and lied.

What if I tell you that my heart still feels like it did back then?

These 5 years could never erase how my heart broke,

But I still loved you with every heart beat.

If only you could see how I struggle with my heart again.

Maybe someday you might just notice me,

Standing behind you just likes your shadow.

It true most relationship is about two people.

But for me... only I was indulging in my emotion, alone.

But I never blame you.

If we both had love like we said.

But Love is just a start, then what...

Can you not leave but stay by me?

Everything for me is already here...

My work, my dreams, and my place are here.

But if we had loved like I want to believe it...

Can you stay not just for me... but because you want to.

I know I can’t take your dreams away.

But I loved you. Can you still stay for that?

Hush... my love...

I know what you are feeling now even without words.

You loved your dreams more... more then you could love me.

I get that ... that’s why I’m not going to make you stay.

Or choose between me and your dreams.

Just go... Go wherever it takes you to.

My first crush...

That day... Our summer.

It begins when I start falling for you.

The words I had rearranged at the back of my mind.

Going through every detail on how it started.

Thoughts of how to let you know what I had felt.

Planning on how to make it a perfect confession.

Every minute being myself and moments with him,

They become so essentially beautiful. Still...

Summer is almost over.

It would have been great if I just took the courage,

Courage to walk right up to him and say it.

But I got scared. And more afraid...

When I heard that he would be leaving.

Leaving to achieve his dreams...

I refuse to say anything that could change his mind.

Instead my coward self encourage him to pursuit it.

He had always been the one with dreams as wide as the globe.

To roam the strange city and a set foot in places I only dream to have imagined.

But that is what I loved so much about him...

That summer when it ended...

My first love ended with me biding my goodbyes.

Of course I have some regrets...

But it’ll hurt more if I had force my feelings on him,

Him who had to leave... in order to live his dreams.

Cinta di Hati Qaseh

Bukan mudah untuk kita ungkapkan rasa cinta.

Sedalam mana kita mencintai seseorang.

Hanya takdir yang akan menentukan...

Siapakah Dia yang akan memiliki sekeping hati kita.

Wahai kekasih ku bernama Arash...

Kaulah cinta pertama.

Seindah pertama kali cinta mula berputik dalam hati ini.

Seindahnya kenagan yang aku dapat.

Memag dari Mu aku mengenali cinta...

Cinta pertama... walau singkat masanya bersama...

Tetapi penuh dengan manisnya.

Itulah kita pertama kita...

Tapi awak bukan untuk saya.

Itulah takdirnya.

Untuk Wahyu.. cinta terakhir Ku.

Biar lambat tibanya cinta  kita asalkan ianya abadi.

Itulah erti cinta  aku untuk Wahyu.

Bukan mudah untuk aku belajar mencintainya.

Dia banyak sabah dengan kerenah aku.

Dia cuba menerima hati aku kala aku masih mencintai Arash.

Dalam sepinya dia banyak memakan hati sendiri.

Walaupun dia mengharap kan cinta dariku,

Dialah juga insan yang ingin melepaskan aku,

Demi kebahagiaan ku.

Aku sedar sejauh mana keihlasan hatinya ..

Semakin aku menyelami hati budinya...

Aku sedar padanya...

Cinta itu anugerah, satu pemberian

Cinta harus diberi dengan sepenuh hati yang ikhlas,

Walaupun kita tak dapat memilikinya...

Seo Hwa Sacrifice

I know how much it hurts you.

The reason that leaves your heart bleeding in silent.

The fact that you had loved me too much...

And yet the reward that you reap out of the kindness,

Is just another heartbreaking betrayal from me.

In those eyes that scream the untold pain.

The silence that unfold a painful tale...

The heart that know no warmth...

I was the cause of all that pain that’s eating you inside out.

I just didn’t know how to erase that hatred inside you...

And make you realised how much I dearly missed you over the years.

I wish i could at lease take a pinch of that hurt i inflicted.

In exchange and hope that it might bring your old self back.

So I lay down my life to gamble in hope that you remember me.

Try to recall the pain of loving me... The day I broke your heart.

I promise you ...

I’ll take every anguish you portrait and accept with open heart.

So promise me you at least try...

Try to recall your old gentle self that i loved so much...

Try to recall how much your heart had loved  the kindness,

Try to forget this angry venom that hurt you...

And i shall always promised to love you ... forever

                                                               ~ Gu Family Book ep 21

Cruel Love

Was it so bad that my first love was a mistake?

The whole world witnessed how I shattered from this mess.

The whole world knows that I tried to steal a man from a woman.

Married but unhappy...  is him.

And even as he confessed the truth,

As I shun him away... i gave my heart a space...

A space where greed soon overtook what was right making them all wrong.

I wanted to keep him to myself,

Tried to steal him away right under her nose in board daylight.

What can I say...? I was once that person, so desperate to be loved.

I paid the consequences with everything that valued in my life.

My passion for music that I cannot reach.

The parents I loved and adore whose heart I rip to pieces.

My heart that I had, pride and my self-respect...

I gave all that for a man whom can’t even love me with all his heart...

Worthless... How stupid of me.

While he continued to live, it was I who couldn’t move on.

Dragging me every minute and living lifelessly empty.

It not fair... that I was punished for a crime to love...

Ijab dan Qabul : Hasrat Zara

Irfan...,

Mungkin awak akan kesal dengan saya.

Maaf kerana saya terpaksa meninggalkan awak sendirian.

Saya tahu awak mencintai saya, Tetapi...

Kerana saya lebih inginkan kebahagiaan untuk awak,

Saya terpaksa meninggalkan awak.

Walaupun saya marah kerana awak ada penganti.

Sekarang saya redha dengan semua ini..

Tetapi kenapa Dia yang awak pilih...

Kawan baik saya sebagai penganti saya.

Saya tahu, Kini awak rasa bersalah..

 Sebab awak dah tahu kenapa saya ingin perpisahan ini..

Saya tahu masa saya dah tak lama..

Saya tak nak awak sendirian bila saya tak ada di dunia fana ini..

Saya tak nak lihat hati awak hancur dengan rasa bersalah terhadap saya.

Tolong saya .. Irfan.... tolong saya,

Bukan niat saya nak lukai hati awak.

Cinta awak adalah anugerah yang sangat indah.

Dah saya ingin menghargai saat terakhir saya..

Melihat kebahagiaan di wajar orang yang amat saya cintai.

Mungkin saya pentingkan diri sendiri...

Tapi cuba awak faham apa yang saya rasa...

Cuba awak tunaikan hasrat saya yang mengiginkan perpisahan ini..

Memang ia akan menghancuri hati saya ..

Tapi sakitnya tak lah selamanya...

Tolong saya Irfan... jangan seksa hati saya lagi.

Don't fear

I know it gets very scary everyday... 

When you put yourself out there.

Especially if you already knew that time is about to give up on you.

You get so afraid to start living,

Because of all the pain you might leave behind when you're gone.

You're not dead yet,

So don't live life you dying...

Did you ever wondered...

How it feels to die with so much regrets in your heart..?

Just by not trying... Not taking  the chances...

Without risking anything, And just vanished with so much regrets...

I don't know what you're waiting for, but...

Even if you could only lived for just a day,

Love as much as you can while you're alive.

Do all that your heart had desired without fearing what would happen tomorrow.

Risk everything you have because time just can't wait for you..

Take the first step to come out of your little shell of fear,

Put in all the effort to run to him,

Tell him how you had felt,

And not care for what his answers might just be.

Because God have a way of surprising you with little miracles.

Even if it only lasted a moment in your life.

So fear nothing... 

Just keep living as desperately as you have to every minute.

~cyrano dating agency.. Ep12

I hoped...

I hoped he's happy.

Even when I'm not there.

I truly hoped he'll find happiness.

Firstly, I apologised for the sudden leaving.

But I don't want to burden him with myself anymore.

I know how he had  loved the dying me,

So much that, I'm grateful to had spent these last few breath being so loved.

He struggle so much everyday know that I had to leave soon.

His tortured eyes that refused to shed tears.

And his half broken heart that cried pain screaming inside his tired soul.

I know it, even when he bravely his them from me.

Every night while sleeping next to me holding my hand.

I took every minute the opportunity to look deep in his face,

And cry for every miserable minutes he spent loving the sickly me.

But he wouldn't move a step even if I literally scream him to leave.

And all those time when I felt my sickness got worst.

I thank him for all cuddle he gave to help me through my painful treatment.

They give me strength to keep fighting... As how much I felt comfort in.

Now when my time here is up, I hoped he never try to make me stay.

Let me go willingly if he must. 

We can't force God to render a chance nor avoid what He had to take.

But if we had truly loved sincerely, 

I know we will meet again at an appropriate place and time.

Secondly... I hope he would not hold back,

He deserve so much love and care,

Someone whom is capable to walk next to him and cuddle him everyday.

Someone better but just not me.

I prayed that when she finally reach his doorsteps,

"Please don't denied yourself from the happiness that comes.

Accept it with open heart... "

He just deserved someone better... But just not someone like me.

She Cried...

She cried... again.

I know how much she misses him.

I know how all this is making her all drained out.

But she needs to get through this lost.

Her heart isn’t strong but I know she’s brave.

It’ll hurt now and someday I hope it’ll get better.

I promised him I’ll look after her.

But please help her notice me.

I waited long... long enough for her.

I didn’t want to force her but at least try...

If you...God... had made one for another,

I pray that fate has written her in it for me.

So at least I know this waiting will eventually comes to an ending.

And if she’s not for me...

At least give her someone whom is capable enough to love her...

As how she deserved to be loved... even if not by me.

Today she cried ... again.

Because I told her how I felt...

And all she did was apologised...

... How she could never return my feelings back.

99 Kali Rindu... - part 1

Biarpun dia diam.. Nafasnya berbicara.

Bicaralah dengan hati,

Nescaya ia akan jatuh ke hati.

Kita boleh mengakatakan cinta,

Tapi ianya tak sepenting bukti sebenar cinta.

Bukti sebenar cinta itu apabila...

Kita menghargai orang yang kita cintai dengan perbuatan.

Agar... Dia rasa terselamat dan terhormat.

Contohnya...

Di saat kita ingin melepaskan seseorang,

Ingatlah saat kita ingin mendapatkanya dahulu.

Di saat kita... tidak menrindukanya,... Ingatlah,

Saat kali pertama kita melafazkan cinta padanya.

Di saat kita mulai bosan dengannya,.. Ingatlah,

Saat – saat indah kita bersamanya.

Untuk hati yang masih menanti,..

Menantilah dengan cinta.

Cinta yang akan membuatmu menerima...

Apa jua kehendak Tuhan kelak.

Tanpa kita sedar,..

Cintamu kepadanya akan membuatkan penantian itu...

Sesuatu yang tidak sia – sia.

Kesakitan boleh saja terubat...

Dengan mendengar kata –kata hikmah.

His happiness

What I know now.. 

Is how he loved her unconditionally...

And I must accept that we would never be.

While he looked at her with tenderness,

I reminded myself that he is not mine, but hers...

So I became his friend... Only His best friend.

While I struggle to let him go, 

I tortured myself by staying close to him just because he needed me,

It's difficult to call myself his friend.

Because loving him wasn't something that happen a while...

But all through our childhood... Secretly holding myself back every minute.

As I loved him, and learning to give in to my desires,

Erasing every detail and traces of the past,

Why did I gotten weaker that sometimes watching them both... It hurts?

While I continue to get hurt by pretending, I realised...

I never tried to understand his method to love, 

Nor am I capable to shelter him from the obstacles coming...

Not knowing how I felt... 

Unable to forget, he swept my feeling along with him.

But that is him trying hard to take care of my heart.

As I'm getting hurt... My first love... Honestly

I'm glad that happiness is always with them both,

Even if there isn't a place form me... 

I still wants to wish them happiness sincerely... Forever.

Cinta Arash

Kami sama - sama lelaki,
Mencintai seorang wanita bernama Qaseh.
Sama - sama ingin memilikinya,
Sama - sama ingin membahagiakan hidupnya,
Dan melindunginya dari bencana yang bakal mendatang.
Tapi aku.. Arash, Kini menyedari..
Qaseh bukan jodoh yang Kau tentukan untuk ku.
Dia datang kepada ku untuk mengenali erti cinta,
Tapi cinta yang suci itu adalah untuk Wahyu...
Dari aku dia belajar mencintai dirinya,
Dari aku juga dia mengenal erti pengorbanan Wahyu terhadapnya.
Demi memiliki hatinya dan menjadi yang terbaik buat Qaseh,
Aku melihat pengorbanan seorang lelaki bernama Wahyu.
Aku tahu dia banyak terluka kerana adanya aku dalam diri Qaseh,
Dan masa silamnya yang kami kongsi bersama.
Demi untuk memulihkan ingatan Qaseh,
Dia rela meninggalkan insan yang sangat di cintainya.
Demi kebahagiaan Qaseh dan aku...
Kerana padahnya...
Qaseh adalah pemegang hati dan nyawa beliau.
Buat pertama kali aku melihat air jernih membasahi wajarnya,
Memohon dan mengharapkan agar aku bisa menerima Qaseh kembali.
Di situ lah aku mempelajari... Cinta dan pengorbanan seorang suami.
Qaseh pun tahu... Siapa sebenarnya yang dicintainya..
Sayangnya bukan aku orang yang dicintai..
Dia menyangi aku setulus hati,
Tapi kasih dan cintainya hanya untuk Wahyu...
Bagaimana harus aku jelaskankan hati dan perasaan ku,
Kalau dari matanya aku lihat cahaya dan bayangan Wahyu...

Bukan Saya .... Tapi Awak...

Bukan saya yang menyerah,

Tapi awak yang tak berjuang.

Bukan kerana saya lelah menunggu,

Tapi awak yang terus berlari jauh dari saya.

Bukan saya tak setia,

Tapi awak yang tak hargai kesetiaan saya.

Bukan saya tak mencintai awak dengan sepenuh hati.

Tapi awak yang tak mencintai saya lagi...

Saya telah cuba memberi yang terbaik,

Meskipun saya tahu yang saya tak sempurna,

Tapi saya berusaha untuk menjadi yang terbaik untuk awak.

Saya terima semua cemuhan dan kemarahan awak,

Walaupun hati saya terus terluka dengan perbuatan awak.

Tapi saya dah penat mencuba membuat awak mencintai saya,

Saya dah kalah dan mengalah dengan cinta awak

Saya dah tak mampu untuk mencorak dinding hati awak,

Saya redha takdir kalau awak perlu pergi dari kehidupan saya.

Dan saya berdoa supaya Allah SWT,

Menemukan insan yang mampu membahagiakan awak. Tetapi...

Kalau di suatu masa awak menyedari cinta yang awak telah leraikan,

Saya mengharapkan kala watktu itu hati saya masih untuk awak,

Dan jika ia bukan, saya berdoa awak tak lagi datang mencarinya.

our love

Sometimes,

Love fadeseven for us,

We spentyears being together,

Facing everythingand still storm forward stronger after the fall.

But whenyour heart changed,

I know thereis no place for me here anymore.

I’m notangry because you left,

But I wishedyou had given me time,

To pullmyself away from you.

I knew allalong that you had her since the last you called,

But Irefused to say anything.

I wanted youto tell me yourself.

But no... Youchoose to leave after one goodbye.

I wonderedif it’s because I never showed you,

That I washurt by this love... or

That youblindly assumed that I’m fine with all this.

I wished youhad seen me that day,

After youhad called it end,

I wasn’t asstrong as you thought.

I spent thewhole day crying.

You nevercould guess how hurt it felt.

When yourheart got torn and broke just like that.

That day weended, I just lost someone important to me.

And yet Ihad to lose you...

But now ileave my faith to God to help me through..

May be wewere never meant to be.

I acceptedthat now.

I believenow that maybe... just maybe,

Someone outthere is meant for me.

As to howyou found her, someone whom completes you.

Can you Imagine...

Can you imagine how I actually feel...
That very day when you left me here alone.
It was the most important day,
Yet I stayed out in the cold through the night,
Believing you might just come by..
I waited and waited for hours,
But you never showed up.
Then I received a call saying that you left,
I tried calling you in denial,
Only to hear words that hurt my heart that day...
I'm foolish aren't I?
My heart broke..
All my dreams shattered to pieces,
I loved you too much,
That as you left me here by myself... alone,
I foolishly waited before I finally come to my senses,
How I stupidly waited for you whom never actually loved me.

Awak

Awak pernah tak melihat hatinya,

Dia yang terlalu mencintai awak.

Dia yang terlalu mengasihi awak.

Dia yang terlalu menyangi awak.

Hatinya yang pernuh dengan kasih sayang,

Semuanya hanya untuk awak.

Dia yang dikenali dengan sifat ketabahannya,

Jiwanya yang sentiasa lembut dan ikhlas,

Meskipun awak banyank menduga niatnya,

Meskipun awak banyak menghancuri hatinya,

Meskipun awak merobek dan melukai jiwanya.

Dengan ketabahannya mencari cinta sejati.

Dari awak lah dia belajah erti cinta yang sebanarnya.

Walaupun dia ditinggalkan,

Dia menunggu awak tanpa jemu...

Itulah dia yang sangat mencintai awak...

Forever...

Can forever please wait..?
Loving him takes a lifetime of patience,
I know time cannot stop to wait for me,
So love eventually slip through us like overflowing water,
I wanted him to find his happiness with someone else,
And I'm aware that his happiness is with me,
But when I selfishly pushed him to someone else,
To hide a way a mistake I did...
I not only force him to change his heart,
But I tore "us" apart like it meant nothing to us both.

And now even as I regret,
I cannot undo what is already done,
Even as I cry out my heart till I'm all drained,
Love can never sincerely stay for me a second longer.
To her whom I'm guilty of this misery,
Forgiveness is not easy to seek.
I wanted you to be happy,
And since I knew you loved the man I adored,
Giving him up was the only way to restore,
What was rip and taken away from you.

But I do not have forever to promise,
That you both might not get hurt again by me,
But if you both have faith in god,
Then have faith that in this union,
You each deserved someone better,
Someone whom been hurt by love,
Often emerge stronger and braver after the lost.
Give yourself a chance to find happiness that truly yours to keep,
Be brave again by giving love a second chance,
Because forever is a gift for those whom seek eternal love...
Forever is a commitment of a lifetime.

Kang Maru's Secret

Love is one thing I hated about her,
Yet the fact that I loved her so much,
I hid away her mistakes and took the blame.
I made a monster out of her wrongs,
Blamed her for the life she had lived in.
And now I regretted it.

But when someone else walked into my heart for the second time,
I realised what my first love was, isn't what love is.
She was so much like me.
Her eyes that couldn't trust,
Her words that only spoken the harshest truth.
Yet the one thing I couldn't have guess,
Was how her heart was so innocent and gentle,
Could kept such painful burden for so long hidden behind her mask.

I didn't trust love enough to love her back in return.
But when she left all her wealth and come running to me,
I saw a side of her that made me wanted her so much.
She trusted me so much even when she barely knew why I approached her.
All she knew was I knew that woman she had to call mother,
And that I do odd job for a living.

What I did to her was worst,
No only I used her for revenge, I broke her heart instead.
I used the most cruelest words in such harsh times,
To inflict such painful blow to her heart.
That made dying the best way to release her tension.
But because I loved her so much,
I drove straight at her car to prevent death from approaching her.

I waited for her come back...
Waited so long for her, now she's finally here...
She couldn't remember me, although it hurt here,
I still wanted to keep the pure and innocent her by my side.
"I love her." I scream out to the depth my heart content...
And that is my secret...

It's not your fault.. So don't be ashamed

Don’t be ashamed

It’s not your fault that your life met a tragedy.

It’s not your fault that you believed the lies reality had whispered to you.

It’s not your fault that you hurt people so easily.

It not your fault that you never knew happiness all your life

It’s not your fault that nightmares are your best memories.

Don’t be ashamed, of what you are.

Don’t be afraid to hide because you’re scared.

Don’t just live in silent, cry if you must so there will be no regrets after.

They don’t know what you’ve been through,

Yet they try to judge you for all the shortcomings you have.

If they understood the cruelty that you suffer,

They’ll learn to shut their mouth and cried with you.

It’s not your fault that you were not loved.

It’s not your fault that you only knew what anger and pain is.

It’s not your fault that you were alone all this while.

It’s not your fault that you couldn’t cry after this.

It’s not your fault that life is being hard on you.

Don’t be ashamed, of what you are.

It’s fine to show the world what you feel after hiding for so long,

You were so young yet people couldn’t tell the difference,

They should be embarrassed when being compared to you.

What do they actually know?

You had a tough life, yet after every fall you still tried to stand strong,

You have every reason to seek happiness, don’t be ashamed of it.

Like someone once told me,

“If you can’t have the happiness given by God,

It’s not wrong to run and snatch your share from HIM”.

That kid

I didnt see it in her eyes anymore,
The kid that misses her unknown family,
The kid with the most gentle heart I knew,
The one that still cries for every touching movie scenes.
The kid whom words might sound nasty,
But her intention was always for the benefit of others.
The kid whose laughters and smile warms the earth.
That kid is no longer the same I recalled.
What I saw now is a child, struggling and broken...
Whose heart became so cold and numb.
To the point that I never could reach the depth of her heart.
The child whom reflection seem tortured,
I knew what made her change so drastically,
And I'm sorry I couldn't help to make things better for her,
So I wouldn't ask anything of that day.

While others are blinded my her silliness and smiles,
Underneath I saw a mask,
That hid all the painful truth about her heart.
I could hear her cries in her laughters.
I could see tears dripping behind her smiles.
I swear I felt her pain in her warmth,
And in her silence I literally understood her heart well.
Which was so broken and empty.
How can people broke such gentle heart?
Not caring or sparing time to let it heal.
In those eyes I saw how she must have begged,
And yet the one thing that hurt her was the people she trusted.
I ever could imagine how she tried to stay this positive and not cry,
All she did was take the blame and then punish herself like an idiot.

Honestly I worried for her...
The fact that she refuse to cry and talk about it,
I'm scared someday she might do something stupid,
And regret so much more...
I wanted to help her,
But I realised that in that pain that she tried to hide behind,
Is a room of four wall that she prisoned her heart in,
Slowly poisoning her desire to seek happiness that was truly hers.
That's why I say... How could someone broke such gentle heart.