The Letter...

Finally it reached me.

It took him 9 months to say the word sorry,

All this time, I’ve been kept here waiting.

And now finally read it on a letter...

He’s sorry for leaving me here alone,

Carrying the pain of losing a life due to my mistakes.

Was it really my fault that we lost him like this?

I remember that day after the funeral,

How he rushed to packed his bags and left through that front door,

Not waiting a minute to look back at me struggle with myself.

 Or question why I was still standing here not crying.

How can I cry when I suddenly became so numb?

Reading his letter over and over,

I asked myself why now,

The sorry that he kept repeating again and again,

Why the word does feel like venom,

Piercing through my heart and not heal it like I thought it would.

I wanted to live by forgiving him, my step father...

Whom left me here facing the demon of my own shadow,

But now, I’m not an angel,

Why should I forgive someone who rather leaves a child,

Fending for herself,

Starving her soul with only memories of the happy moments,

That’s been long gone in tears,

I whom punished me by not seeking for you when I needed the saving,

Look where it got me... still here all the same on the outside,

But you see my heart just broke because you left.

I’m not forgiving you for this... I’ll never forgive you.

Now after all this time... I finally had it.