Finally it
reached me.
It took him
9 months to say the word sorry,
All this
time, I’ve been kept here waiting.
And now
finally read it on a letter...
He’s sorry
for leaving me here alone,
Carrying the
pain of losing a life due to my mistakes.
Was it
really my fault that we lost him like this?
I remember
that day after the funeral,
How he
rushed to packed his bags and left through that front door,
Not waiting
a minute to look back at me struggle with myself.
Or question why I was still standing here not
crying.
How can I
cry when I suddenly became so numb?
Reading his
letter over and over,
I asked
myself why now,
The sorry
that he kept repeating again and again,
Why the word
does feel like venom,
Piercing through
my heart and not heal it like I thought it would.
I wanted to
live by forgiving him, my step father...
Whom left me
here facing the demon of my own shadow,
But now, I’m
not an angel,
Why should I
forgive someone who rather leaves a child,
Fending for
herself,
Starving her
soul with only memories of the happy moments,
That’s been
long gone in tears,
I whom
punished me by not seeking for you when I needed the saving,
Look where
it got me... still here all the same on the outside,
But you see
my heart just broke because you left.
I’m not
forgiving you for this... I’ll never forgive you.
Now after
all this time... I finally had it.
