Words of goodbye...

Words...
All those painful times I cannot say,
In this last chance I hold on like an idiot crying by myself...
Through this hard and freezing cold night...
I sit there like a fool crying while thinking of this day how I hurt a friend.
It took me one moment, in one breath.
In this silence that accompany us.
For me to gather all my feelings at hand.
While clenching my fist like an angry soul,
Filled with revenge and pain...
Slowly closing my eyes and count from 10 backwards,
Hoping it would help me calm my lungs from breathing too hard.
Gasping for one fresh air breathed inside me,
Containing me from within, turning something warm to coldness.
Frozen up my emotion in place, getting ready to fire the last bullet in my gun.
As I said what I shouldn’t have...all those tears I know you cried after...
I know them even when I turn away and left first... with the last hanging word goodbye.”