Heart

Do you know why a heart is a vital organ in the body?
Because in a Heart,
Is where every life begins.
Although it’s a mystery how it happen!
Still a heart is one small thing that not many knew its existence.

Ever wonder why you feel things that comes and goes?
But to great difficulties you can’t tell or explain why!
A heart is created in away that it feels and understand.
It can love with all its strength and it could hate a lifetime.
It helps us control our emotion especially in times of pain…

Sometime while loving,
I wonder how strong a heart is when it faces with pain.
Just how much can one heart take before it gets weary?
How much of the pressure can it absorb before it finally gives up?

Why do people lie about maters of a heart?
How can love be meaningful if every thing was a lie.
What is love to you? What is love to your heart?

A heart is strong but weak at the same time.
Some moments it gets harder to breath and then harder to bare.
A heart don’t need money, don’t need gesture or even words.
To tell others that it needed to be heard…
All it need is a little sincerity and lots of love.

Grandma

Dear grandma, if I still have the right to call you that…
I’m not sure when you’ll ever come across this blog… till that day comes I’ll pray you would hear these words before you turn to dust.

There are many things I want the truth about….
But now looking at the whole picture… the truth don’t mean a thing. I’m not sure of why you suddenly wanted to see me then… But like others, I hope it’s something good...

I asked my friends… all of them said that maybe you needed forgiveness from me. It was hard to believe. But I tried to understand what they mean by that. I swear it’s hard, harder then having to forgive a friend that hurt me.

Did you ever knew that your presence always leave me in fears? How hearing your foot step made me shiver pain down my spine? Your words are like sharp knifes stabbing inside me from all direction. Didn’t it made you happy to watch me lost everything? Did you even know that as I got hurt and bled half dead… I only wished you had stopped and feel my pain.

No matter what I do, to you those efforts are worthless…. But for once let me tell you that now I’m no longer that 7 year old kid that feels haunted by you! To me the only family I have is the one I spent 16 years living with and that doesn’t consist you in the picture!

Even when I had to leave home… I did it for the sake of the family that I tried to protect. Many times I prayed for enough courage to wipe their tears… I’ve failed.
Although because of me they got hurt and suffer. Still for that one chance I see freedom for them, was my reason I let them go and protected it with my every faith and strength left in me. Not you!

So hear my words….
If it was revenge that you wanted to see me for… I suggest you try harder to break me! Because this time you’ll come to see that I’m no longer weak! But if it’s forgiveness that you really wish for… I forgive you already. Even if these scars still hurt.

real story

I don’t know what happened that caused me to be harsh as I came in term with life….
It was probably due to hatred that grows inside me or could my thirst for revenge…
I couldn’t hate my guts even more than to know that in time of crisis are where true forms are often reveal to a level in which there is no mercy is left….
I watch hatred in those eyes that made me a stain;

I even have to live with that pain….
I hate being used and cheated!
It like my life has no worth…. I can’t e that foolish 7 year old girl…
One that that it all in blindly and stupidly believed that miracle do existed.

Regret for love

Regrets for love
Since the beginning…
Never thought I could cry so much for love,
Never knew what a broken heart feels like…
Or how crazy I got just by missing you.

Meeting you then falling in love with you…
Was unexpected!
At first it was your smile that I thought was enough…
Then I became greedy. Because…
I don’t just want your love, but I wanted you,
All for myself…

But time and again even as I wanted to hold on to you longer…
You existence tend to slip through my fingers…
I can’t express the regrets I feel watching you cried your heart out…
Even as I’m forced to turn cold….
Back then…
No word could tell you how I wanted to hold you in my arm,
Before I said thing that left you crying a broken heart.

The biggest regret I had was letting you go in a most painful way…
After which you cried hopelessly in his arm…
If only I had enough time to make it right again I would…
But how do I tell you that my actions then was protecting you?
Even as I cried and sympathized with my own heart…
It was yours, your heart that I broke, was why I felt hurt at the same time…

I tried my best to not let you see me cry…
But till the very end… I realized I couldn’t take it in anymore…
As our heart broke… our distance grew wider…
That even as I was standing behind you I fail to hold you…
I missed you badly… how do I tell you so?
I feel like running to you again… every time I’m face with you
But because I wanted to protect you, I tried hard to silent my pain…
And watch you leave…
Even if it’s the last thing I could do for our love…
I would….

the climb

The climb…
Not everyone gets to dream…
A dream as big as yours.
I’m one of them…
If only I had enough courage to dream…
And take chances within my grip…
I would…

Even if I can’t have it all…
I’ll trade everything I have for a chance to recreate a better me.
Although…
I have to give it all up in order to make a simple dream happen, I would!
If you could just once touch a better future then what you have,
One that you could mould to a perfect you…
Wouldn’t you take it too?

In ever course,
These challenges never stop…
It’ll gets tougher as you got higher.
There will be times you are bound to fall,
Be sure to climb up again…

You can never be the ultimate winner if you don’t learn to loose…
And to loose,
It’s a way you’ll learn to find better standing as you learn to rise in every fall…
If you could be a better person…
One whose patience are consistence, don’t you want it too?
The climb…
Not everyone gets to dream…
A dream as big as yours.
I’m one of them…
If only I had enough courage to dream…
And take chances within my grip…
I would…

Even if I can’t have it all…
I’ll trade everything I have for a chance to recreate a better me.
Although…
I have to give it all up in order to make a simple dream happen, I would!
If you could just once touch a better future then what you have,
One that you could mould to a perfect you…
Wouldn’t you take it too?

In ever course,
These challenges never stop…
It’ll gets tougher as you got higher.
There will be times you are bound to fall,
Be sure to climb up again…

You can never be the ultimate winner if you don’t learn to loose…
And to loose,
It’s a way you’ll learn to find better standing as you learn to rise in every fall…
If you could be a better person…
One whose patience are consistence, don’t you want it too?