Today...

Its' been awhile since I was this honest to god... Although he knows who i was but still being honest to him is like being honest to a mirror looking at yourself and reflect what you did.

I told you then i was jealous of a sick kid..

But when she found out what i really was "A child that has Nothing.." from the only thing on my back(the scar) that never provide me with any strength. She befriended me.. She ask of what i went thur.. She must have shared her surprised.

You know i was surprised that while i was envying her. Just like me she was jealous of me too. She wanted so much to live just a moment longer.. to fall in love.. and to be loved.. most of all she wanted to make her family proud of her...

Her jealousy got me thinking.. what i need in life. A family that i can never touch.. A love that never existed or a friend that is long gone. Still no answer.

Honestly what do i have that she should be so jealous about?? I wanted so much to be in her shoes more then anything in this world..