That day... I lost everything

He laid there motionless,
Not moving a muscle and not breathing,
His cold and clammy skin all frosted white...
I recall everything about that day....
The day everyone left carrying his slumber self,
Because that day I lost everything.
I couldn't remember when was then last time I actually begin to live,
Not until I had him here sharing every bit of everything,
I remember his innocence,
That broke all the walls that shield me from the outside world.
I didn't want to get hurt and cry like a helpless child,
Even when I seem fine and capable outside,
Inside I buried my soul within this strongest wall of fear.
But I was defeated...
I lost everything since he went back to Gods arm.
My world never became anymore cold and dark since the lost,
I didn't blame God for loving him more,
I blame myself, for my incapability to love him when I had the chance.
With this lost, a certain someone got caught in the blame,
And I'm just sorry that I couldn't save him in time to prevent this mishap.
To that person... Please forgive me. I'm sorry.
She was right to have said that I should stay away,
She was right about me that someday I'm the only thing,
In this whole world that will break his heart and his family,
I should have listen to her,
To push them both away when the time is still lenient to us all...
Just because I wanted them both so badly to stay in my world,
I forgot someday will come when retribution will take away everything,
And everything that I held on thats not mine to own,
I lost everything and had nothing left to offer,
It happened and see where it leave us all,
Nothing but an ongoing episode of tears crying and broken hearts...
The earth seems colder everyday,
That even the warmest sunlight can't protrude the barrier the harden my heart,
Rainbows of 7 colours that brighten the sky seem so dull to my eyes,
Maybe I had been crying since the fall, That even when, almost turning blind,
I choose to not see happiness ever again.