You were right...

Mom,

You were right about a few things...

I just refuse to hear what it was.

I’m just selfish... I finally admit it.

I shouldn’t have made them stay.

If only i had denied them at first hand then,

Maybe all of us wouldn’t be badly hurt by this tragedy.

You were right about me,

I don’t deserve every bit of their kindness,

I don’t deserve to beloved by them dearly,

I don’t deserve their warmth even when i’m cold,

I don’t deserve to held on to them even if i was drowning.

You were right about them,

That their love and kindness was an infinite gift,

That only belongs to you whom had loved them ever so dearly.

They were your world and your heart,

Yet, I was wrong for snatching them away...

I know it’s a little too late to apologise now,

But I’m truly sorry... so sorry.

Sorry that I took their love away from you,

Sorry that I tried to kept things that wasn’t mine.

Sorry that you got hurt as I held on to them every minute...

I didn’t meant for such tragedy to happen,

Had I knew, I willingly take your dear son place in death.

I know my words wouldn’t change the reality,

But if I had the power to undo,

I would have given him the life you had asked,

Then leave them all like how I did the last time we met.

I should have push Dad away,

And now, I’m just sorry that his heart broke because of me.

Even the strongest tape nor glue,

Can never put pieces of his heart back together.

Yet my selfish self chose to held on even if I’m burn in hell for it.

You were absolutely right... I’m such a devil.

You see Mom...

You could never understand my hunger... for a family.

Having him as a father even as he don’t belong in the same whole as mine,

Someone who would hold you before you fall,

Someone whom you could just trust to be here whenever you need.

You don’t know how he makes me feel like a kid I had not been all my life,

He cried with me when I’m in pain.

He stayed by me that night I was running a fever.

He even held my hand when I had nightmare that one night till dawn.

His kindest words warms my heart when imp frozen here alone,

Every day with him here... I’m just thankful he came to my world.

My brother, he completes my emptiness as a kid.

He just makes me laugh and whenever he held my hand,

Or smile that cheeky sweet smile of his,

That melts away the wall I had punished myself by being trap in,

The breaks them so easily...

He completes me in so many ways...

But still you were right,

I don’t deserve them. I only had myself to blame for all this...

You were right that I should never take them way,

I should never snatch your sun,

I should have just drowned in the cold bitter night.

I know now the consequences of my action,

And for that I gladly accept the price....

I'm sorry... that I broke your heart....

My baby Brother...

I didn’t wenthome that day,

Not because Iknow he wouldn’t be there,

But because Icannot control myself for missing him so,

Even though Inever actually know him well,

But he fillsme in with the kind of warmth I longed for,

He remindedme of things I spent years living without,

A feeling I couldn’trecall being in for a while long,

I couldn’t rememberhow empty I was here at home,

Until the funeralcrowd went away,

Carrying hisslumber self away with the wind.

Then therain came just in time,

To drain mefrom the tears I couldn’t shed,

I couldn’t findthe strength to touch this door knob,

I fearmyself about this growing pain inside,

I fear thatknowing he would never be here again,

Life wouldsomehow become meaningless if I enter the room.

So likeevery coward and weak soul,

Here I stooddown resting my head on my knees,

Crying awaywith storming rain outside my window...

The shutteringthunder use to give me the chills of fear,

But eversince this moment on...

It’s themost comforting tune to my ears.

I can’texplain this loneliness here in my heart,

But I knowif step inside that room now,

I probablynever could recover from being guilty...

Guilty ofbeing alive,

Guilty ofkilling him and guilty for missing him.

Him who i trulytreasure the time together,

My dear babybrother...

You completeme in the many moments I’m short in...

Thank youfor all the happy times,

Rest welland goodbye...