I'm better off like this...

There so much pain from the past.
That even after so many years passed by,
It’ll only hurt more than yesterday.
There is this guilt that never fades off,
And the price one had to pay is a lifetime of pain and loneliness.
Although they don’t demand a payment for being hurt.
But it was because of me that they were hurt and became broken later.
No one can picture their pain,
But I’ve been watching them cry that painful wound.
Even when they claim I was a gift in their life,
Even when I always knew they loved me for myself.
But I could never truly be a part of them as a family.
I never blame them for the hurt I got while staying,
Or even the scars that I had on my back for loving her.
Because I loved them as they were my own.
When my very own refuse my existence.
I was always grateful for them,
That even while getting hurt with this final blow,
I still choose them above all.
I choose my pain and took theirs as well.
If what I had to give, could shine a light of hope in their soul,
Then I don’t see my lost as something hurtful to bear.
People don’t understand my reason of letting go,
Nor will they understand my sacrifice as a child.
But what I given them is nothing compare to what they did for me,
A nobody whose mother wishes she’ll just die sooner.
I admit but still... in the mitts of being here by myself with no one.
I still believe I’m better off like this without them here with me.

To his new Girl

I’m sorry that you hated my existence in his life.
Apart of him that filled with memories of me.
The side of him that will always remind you of me.
The way he kept running towards me then.
I know how much you hated that.
But please forgive us, forgive me.
It’ll take time of him to forget,
It’ll take great courage for me to let it go.
But know this well if you love him so.
That I choose to leave him,
Because he loved you more than me now.
My love for him ended the day you came in to this picture.
I always knew he wanted you then,
But it’s me whom tried my best to hold on as long as I could.
But now I know I cannot make him mine again.
If his heart is not here with me,
Then there is nothing more I could do for us..,
To make him stay is cruel.
To keep holding on is painful.
Blame me for being weak and irresponsible,
For not able to free him from this love.
But he’s with you now,
I’ll take my leave and hope he’ll be happy then.
If you do love him like I know you do.
The simplest thing I would ask of you.
Is to have faith in him.
To love him always and be there for him.
His happiness is all I pray for.

Just Another Memory

It was like yesterday,

Everything was perfect again.
That moment came back,
And my life got so much better.
It was like yesterday,
That all the pain vanished.
The hurtful words evaporated to the sky,
And I’ve lived once again.
It was like yesterday,
Everyone’s here to stay,
Happiness is coming back.
And I breathe again.
It was like yesterday,
The sun still shines,
When the rain pours,
And the rainbow makes me smile again.
It was like yesterday,
That time became worth living with,
All happiness snapped to pictures,
And I kept them close like they were gold and jewels.
It was like yesterday,
That I finally live,
Finally breath,
Finally smile...
As this last picture I took, turns to a memory.

Something worth..

Never question me about my love.
What I could give for her,
What I did for her love.
Nothing compares to the years she spent waiting.
The love I desire, the heart I’m dying to love in return,
They can never match hers.
Her every sacrifice,
Her lifetime happiness, her family...
She gave them all away for me.
Who could never love her the way she did for me.
If my lies can release her form this burden,
So be it.
At least the one, who pretended to not love, is me.
I’ll take all that pain from her,
Take it all away and replace them...
All my happiness I’ll give them to her.
My life... I give it all if I have to.
But I’ll never would let her shed another hurtful tear for me.
I come to understand one thing while facing death with you; that is
“If you could love, love with all your heart and not regret it.
Give them your warmest blessing if you must let them go,
But pray for your love,
That someday when love comes knocking on their doors again,
Be brave, accept them because while you had to leave her here...
This love that comes might just be worth waiting for.”