I'm sorry

I’m sorry.
I shouldn’t have used you.
I shouldn’t have met you.
You were nice to me all the time.
But look what I did to the cheerful you.
I broke your heart. I made you cry….
I wish I could tell you how sorry I am.

His love left me too soon,
Even before I could learn to live without him here.
He left bringing my heart with him.
I became soulless without him here.
There is a hole in my heart…
I couldn’t lie…
I needed him to be here.
Holding me close every night.

Then you came…
When I need someone close.
You held me when I cried.
You loved me when I’m still broken.
You stayed with me even when I turn cold…
You did everything to make me happy….
Everything…
Except hurting me….

I didn’t realised how selfish I became.
Every time you here… I felt him close.
When you smile at me, it’s his smile I saw.
When you held me close, it was his touch I felt.
Your touch felt like his…
Even the was you smell… just like him.
In so many ways you are the same.
You reminded me of him…
That I couldn’t help it,
But needing him more.

I should have told you sooner.
I shouldn’t have held on.
It’s because I loved him so much.
I can’t let him go…
It’s because I wanted him here…
I hurt you that bad…
I felt guilty.
Even now knowing it all will hurt you.
I can’t help myself from needing him more.

I know my “sorry” doesn’t mean anything.
But that is all I have for you.
I can’t stay because you’ll get hurt,
I can’t lie because the truth will burn.
The fact that I can’t love you….
That will break you more.
Let me leave now…
Because this is my way of protecting you,
From continuing being hurt by someone as useless as me.
I’m sorry…