Lebaran

This would be the first Lebaran i spent being an Orphan....

Even though in these past years Lebaran has only been half a day but its the most happiest of my life .... But since last year i lost my home, my family, my life, and everything that i had...
It only made this year worst by the death of my grandma early this year....

One of the most stupid things i did today would be... Standing at an open window and stare at the family that I had left behind almost one year. Honestly i never told anyone this but i thank that family for bringing me up and induce me with religious to guide my soul and the Independence of surviving the hash world outside. For all that lesson ... I can never thank them enough.

But the only lesson that they had taught me that i hated most is longing.... Times when i longed to be apart of a family... These times are the hardest and painful one of the thing i realized these pain it don't lessen with time instead the heart continue to break.....

Lebaran is about family but when you have nothing to hold.. You just don't have a place in the celebration... That is why Lebaran means nothing but emptiness in you.

Love

Dear readers...

Lets have a good start.

Its still the same me here only in a different environment.

Anyway a Relationship is the topic this round..

I came across thousand different relation between human. But today i realize no mater what the need of LOVE in our life is still an Ecstasy that one can never avoid.

Although Love is being expressed in different ways but it still caries an essential meaning of trust and a belonging...

In a Family..

Love means to care and a bond that's binds ties. But god have created love in a family not to just be about blood ties but the honesty and sincerity in loving your family in good and bad times.

In Friendship..

Love means more then just care its a sharing thing that goes beyond giving. IT like a miracle God created for you. He would give this person to you, Someone that suit you in term of personality and comfort... They are like angles that protect and shelter you as you cry and laugh.. they are also the one that knows your heart and never hurt you... even if it mean sgiving without a return..

In your soul mate..

God has shape someones heart to beat as fast a car could drive and as loud as a voice could scream. He have given this gift of loving in the hope that it teaches one to sacrifices for love and strengthening ones heart to fight for a future that is worth. In this bond love is like a source of strength and a miracle that is beyond words to discribe. It memory can be as beautiful as paridise or as cold as a dark grave.

These are some thing i came to realize as travel alot and stay by myself. My surrounding teached me alot even by watching a mother holding her child i could feel the warmth in every touch. That is something i never get every day as i grew up... So yes i envy them...

5 moments in my life...

Someone asked me today...

In my entire life what are the 5 things I'll never forget...

1. The day i watch the one i care so much for die in font of me...

2. The day i found out that the family i thought i had was not mine...

3. The day i left home..

4. The time i spent missing them and only watch them by the window..

5. the moment i met my biological mum.. and she told me i was like a mistake that happen when the my parents are divorcing..


For me these moment are unforgettable. Its like a scar that is left on your skin..
but even with so much time spent healing them.. the scar would heal...
but it's the mark that is left still exudate the most painful and unhappy memories in my life.